A part of me wants to sympathize with the protagonist in “Potential Breakup Song”. Her boyfriend’s obviously a jerk. I mean, how could you forget to call your girlfriend on her birthday? She wouldn’t even be calling it her “stupid birthday” if you had picked up the phone a bit earlier and sent some holleration in her direction!
On the other hand, maybe this chick is kind of crazy. It’s quite possible that her boyfriend just overslept that day, and he didn’t get a chance to respond to her text until approximately one o’clock in the afternoon. She’s all like, “OMG, how could you forget my stupid birthday?” Then he’s like, “I didn’t. I just have a wicked hangover from your party last night.” And then she’s like, “Oh. I guess I feel pretty stupid now, even though I still think you’re a total jerkface”. Except she doesn’t say that last part out loud.
After playing out this conversation in my head, I remind myself that this song emerged from a pair of sisters pedaled by the Disney Channel. It shouldn’t inspire faux conversation inside one’s head. So forget about getting your stuff back, Ms. Michalka. Because I want my sanity back. Do you get that? Let me repeat that. I want my sanity back.